Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Another reason to clean out the refrigerator more often
I remember reading that P.T. Barnum had a sign on a door at his exhibit hall which said "This Way To The Egress" and of course people flocked through the door. Supposedly they all laughed good naturedly at finding themselves out in the alleyway and presumably having to pay to get back in although I have no doubt that some were irate at missing the egress. Which brings me to today's "Christ, what next?" topic; someone was stupid enough to pay $28,000.00 for a ten year old grilled cheese sandwich. I can't imagine why this surprises me, over half the people in this country still believe in ghosts, so the idea of someone paying 28 smackers for a ten year old sandwich because it has a picture of the Virgin Mary on it, should be taken in stride. Two casino owners in Vegas bought it, which is a pretty cagey business move when you think about it; who but gamblers really need a miracle and would be desparate enough to pay to see a ten year old grilled cheese sandwich because it might bring them luck?
So today, I vow to turn over a new leaf - I will now try to clean out the fridge more than once a year and not just when a claw reaches out and grabs someone. I mean it this time. A few years ago I pulled what I thought was leftover meatloaf out of the fridge and it looked just like Cousin It. It even sounded like him. If I had known you could get big bucks for it, I wouldn't have tossed it so blithely (or bitterly, since everyone says they like my meatloaf but I always end up throwing it away) in the garbage bag. A couple days ago, I saw Jesus Christ in the frost on a Hot Pockets box, and I told the kids not to cook them until I could get a priest in to verify my vision, but of course they ignored me (damned kids - do they ever listen?) and cooked them anyway so now they're going to have to take out loans like everyone else to pay for their college education. This episode reminds me of another mystery - I go to the grocery every other day it seems, and yet, according to the kids, there's never anything to eat in this house. It's sort of a reverse loaves and fishes miracle - the more boxes of fishsticks and loaves of bread I bring home, the less food we have...maybe the egress is eating it.
So today, I vow to turn over a new leaf - I will now try to clean out the fridge more than once a year and not just when a claw reaches out and grabs someone. I mean it this time. A few years ago I pulled what I thought was leftover meatloaf out of the fridge and it looked just like Cousin It. It even sounded like him. If I had known you could get big bucks for it, I wouldn't have tossed it so blithely (or bitterly, since everyone says they like my meatloaf but I always end up throwing it away) in the garbage bag. A couple days ago, I saw Jesus Christ in the frost on a Hot Pockets box, and I told the kids not to cook them until I could get a priest in to verify my vision, but of course they ignored me (damned kids - do they ever listen?) and cooked them anyway so now they're going to have to take out loans like everyone else to pay for their college education. This episode reminds me of another mystery - I go to the grocery every other day it seems, and yet, according to the kids, there's never anything to eat in this house. It's sort of a reverse loaves and fishes miracle - the more boxes of fishsticks and loaves of bread I bring home, the less food we have...maybe the egress is eating it.
